How To Disappear Completely

Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

I have just been called a Grammar Nazi. Why? Because of my zeal to preserve the English language in all of its beautiful clarity. Because of my devotion to "Eats, Shoots and Leaves," a merry little volume enumerating proper punctuation practices (my emphathy with the author is not abated even by the lack of a final comma in the title and her British habit of leaving final punctuation outside the closing quotation marks). I spotted apostrophe abuse and, rather than becoming a tacit accomplice to tragedy, I decided to make a difference and speak up for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Someone was liberally strewing apostrophes "where no apostrophe has ever gone before." Someone was sending out mass emails intended to firm up a Bible study meeting date, and I constructively pointed out that one does not need an apostrophe in the numerical hybrid "15th" or "8th" (as in "of January"). For this act of kindness, I was promptly labeled a Grammar Nazi. What would you have done in my place? Could you stare at phrases such as "the 15'th" or "the 8'th" and remain unmoved? Hard-hearted grammarphobes!

I replied that I am NOT a Grammar Nazi. Rather, I am merely a member of the GPA (Grammar Protection Association) and PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Apostrophes)...Keep Our Grammar Beautiful for Our Children...We only have one language, so use it wisely...Periods are People, too...