How To Disappear Completely

I don't think the Internet can enable the kind of personal contact that I think is a precondition for knowing whether or not one would like to date someone else. Online dating services, thus, seem pointless to me, like trying to get a mate through Facebook or something.

And I thought maybe Lord Peter might find me there, after I said I wanted to marry him and all.

Lord Peter ...as in, Wimsey? Bravo. Very good taste.

And listen, there's nothing really wrong with "being on display" or "shopping around," is there? As strange as those situations may seem, they're really just occasions for beginning a personal relationship. I mean, you could meet someone at a hog-tying festival and fall in love. Is that stranger than meeting online? In the first case, you wouldn't fall in love right there with the hogs (probably), but somewhere along the lines of the future. Nor should you expect in the second case to fall in love online. Online is just a springboard for other stuff.

I guess I'm saying that I don't want anything to be wrong with mate-shopping because if I'm honest, I'm in that mode nearly all the time. I try not to be, but I am. Going off and subscribing to one of these services wouldn't mean being that way more than I normally am, anyway.

The trick in the midst of it is to apply the same longings of my own heart (seeing ME, not prospective mate) to the lens through which I view the other (seeing that woman herself, not prospective wife). It's not always easy, but it does make for a much more satisfying relationship. For instance, I can tell much more quickly if a certain person is going to work as a wife for someone like myself. If not, I'm free to have a splendid friendship. If on the other hand they seem to work well, I think I would probably feel all awkward and bothered... but I'm not sure about this, because it turns out not to have happened yet. I'm just basing this prediction on the times I *thought* it had happened.

OK, bring out the firing squad. The best way to deal with someone who leaves comments this long is to give them a cigarette (no thanks, I'll pass) and execute them.

Bob...you have inspired me to check out the local hog-tying venues in this area...maybe, just maybe...

And regarding long comments: nonsense. I read every word, because, well, I have a face to put them with, and over four years of watching your lived out experience to which to match them up against. So your insights mean something to me. Thanks! :)

My two cents: I pretty much agree with Bob. I think the decision to join a site like this is a very pro-active (but certainly not guaranteed) step towards marriage. Nothing more, nothing less.

I know a couple that met through ReformedMatchmakers.com. And while I'll defend them and that sort of activity, I'm pretty much wimp when it comes to being proactive. So I'll most likely never really partake in the dating web services.