How To Disappear Completely

Poem, untitled

The sermon today was on Hebrews 12:18-24. Sundays, it seems, can be days of melancholy for me. Perhaps because the week catches up to me and I finally stop to remember all the things I had tried to forget.

A general sense of malaise today.
A heart empty.
Wanting and not wanting.
Afraid to ask.
Afraid to get.
Afraid to lose.
Desire pulling and pulled apart.

Leave Mt. Sinai
Where burdened hearts tremble.
Love lost in Law.
Failure inevitable.
Approach Mt. Zion
Where law-writ hearts love
In failure crucified.

When Love came,
It cautioned us:
Do not be afraid.
The tidings are of great joy.
Perfect love casts out fear.

So asking, waiting, losing, gaining: if Christ be on our side
Whom have I to fear?

Let love come or not come.
But fear, remain behind.