How To Disappear Completely

Sarah, who wrote cautionary tales and perished in a freak gasoline fight accident

I think that the title of a cautionary tale is about as much fun to write as the Harlequin Romance tagline. And so I invite the fair readership of How to Disappear Completely to participate in a Cautionary Tale Title Writing Contest. First prize is a cannister of Rollings Reliable Baking Powder....

Here are a few sample titles from the master, Hilaire Belloc, in order to get the creative juices flowing....

Jim, Who Ran Away from his Nurse, and Was Eaten by a Lion
Matilda, Who Told Lies and Was Burnt to Death
Henry King, Who Chewed Bits of String and Was Early Cut Off in Dreadful Agonies
Rebecca, Who Slammed Doors for Fun and Perished Miserably

Here is an example of a rather serious cautionary tale, taken from Very Bad Poetry:

Lines Written for a Friend, on the Death of His Brother, Caused by a Railway Train Running Over Him Whilst He Was in a State of Inebriation

by James Henry Powell

How oft alas my brother have I warned thee to beware
The horrid spells of guilt which led the drunkards' life to care,
But no! You heeded not the warning words I spoke with pain,
Your wretched soul that once was pure was bound as in a chain,
At length one cold October when the night was late and dark,
The awful doom came on which sank thy life's unsteady barque;
Thy mangled corpse upon the rails in frightful shape was found,
The ponderous train had killed thee as its frightful wheels went round.

And my entry title is not my submission, but rather a somewhat inexcusable plagiarism...