How To Disappear Completely

passive aggressive water fairies

This site devoted to passive-aggressive notes reminds me of the various ways in which previous roommates of mine have communicated their desires. In one apartment, the tub drain became clogged, causing the tub to fill with about six inches of slippery water. My personal solution was to put Drain-O on the shopping list, but my roommate's solution was to write the landlord a letter filled with a detailed description of how she nearly broke her neck. In a different living situation, a past roommate would occasionally remark, "We should teach our roommates how to turn off the stove." Since I was the only one absent-minded enough to attempt burning the house down while we all gathered for dinner, the addressee of this general observation was never in doubt. My favorite memory of roommate negotiation, however, is the detailed map of our kitchen cabinets that one ex-graphic designer roommate drew up. Sadly, the less engineerishly gifted roommates never could achieve that Ideal pot arrangement. This same roommate also reminded us that the Britta pitcher was not filled by the water fairies, a revelation that completely crushed my world: I was totally into water fairies that magically refilled the pitcher whenever I wasn't looking.

I enjoyed living with these various people from past lives. And the memories keep me laughing, because who can live anywhere without a sense of humor?