How To Disappear Completely

Emmys

The Emmys, I've decided, are not up to par with the Oscars. One would think with so many funny shows, comic actors, and good writers out there that they would manage to find someone who could deliver a witty joke. But most of the presenters seemed preoccupied with the anatomy of their fellow presenters. And so it goes. But Colbert came through, with an eco-friendly leaf blower powered by the ever renewable resource, Al Gore's tears. He chided comrade Jon Stewart of the Daily Show for arriving at the Emmys in a Jet Sandwich, a mode of transportation that involves not one, but several gas-guzzling private planes stacked a-top each other.

Then when Ricky Gervais failed to claim his prize for Best Guest Actor (I think??), Colbert and Stewart shuffled the award on to the next likely candidate. "Well, we'd like to give this to our good friend Steve Carell!" At least they are up front about cronyism at the Emmys....

And Tony Bennett kept stealing awards from the Colbert Report. Just how can hit parade pop reviews even compare to four-necked guitars and WristStrong bracelets?

And why did Hugh Laurie not win anything? My only consolation is that the next season of House premieres Sept. 25.